Spanner

ALTERNATIVES
As individual events may require a different approach, we can offer a whole stable
of spoof infiltrators to either work alongside our full comedy waiters act, or in pairs.

THE MAGIC SIGN.....Alakazam!!!!

Doing that voodoo shoe ting!!!!


If you look very closely you can see the false thumb...

Pete The Magic Dragon

Amazingly Poor Close-Up Table Magician

Hello and welcome to the magical world of Pete The Magic Dragon. Magic, its a funny thing. Well actually in my case its not, I take my magic very seriously. I am relatively new to the world of breathtaking magical entertainment, having attained my membership from the magic triangle just last month.


I do however practise a lot in front of my big mirror perfecting my finely honed illusions. Until recently I worked as a handyman on a small farm in Huntingdon St. Blubbo, Cambs, so as well as performing unbelievable magical escapades, I'm very skilled with
joinery, agricultural mechanical maintenance etc.


It was through an unfortunate set of circumstances that I found myself in a position to work full time as a magical entertainer. My fascination for magic was born a few years ago having been to see Paul Daniels live at a BBC studio in London. I spent all of my following spare time learning the tricks and reading all the books. I finally decided to try the most difficult of all illusions during a quiet Tuesday lunchtime at the farm. I attempted to make one of the cows disappear, and to my surprise, it worked. Well my boss was furious and gave me the sack. I had no idea cows were worth so much.


Having learnt a lesson I have decided to never attempt disappearing tricks again. I have however been in touch with scientists from Cambridge University to investigate the possibilities of making someone evaporate. I've yet to hear back from them.


I feel that I will have reached the pinnacle of my career when I can afford a lovely assistant, like Debbie Mcgee.
So if you need a real magical feel to your function, call me. I provide my own music by the way.

Don't forget......It's a kind of magic....

" I thought he was bloody rubbish "
Recent guest
(Name Available)

" During one trick he took a booking on his mobile phone ...... hilarious!!! "
Mr. B. Babcock
(Surrey)

E-MAIL FOR MAGIC


 
This will be worth about £3 in a clipframe!!!

Sooty Smudge

The Short-Sighted Cartoonist

Sooty will wander around selecting guests to perform his unique cartooning skills upon. However he is as blind as a moose, there is a resemblance but you will really have to squint to see it.

Works very well alongside Pete The Magic Dragon or genuine caricaturists.

" He actually made my husband look like a vegetable..... very gifted!! "
A guest
(Name Unknown)

E-MAIL FOR SOOTY SMUDGE

 Sinex and Toothbrush

Uncouth & Dippy

Spoof Waiting Staff Duo

Due to the popularity of these two Spanner characters, they are now available in an hilarious twin-pack for pre-dinner drinks or for that smaller dinner party.

With bandaged hand, Sinex snorting and plenty of slouching, together with a dose of dippy hair styling and plenty of plate stacking, this dynamic duo will add a touch of mayhem to your event.

" I am still chuckling now, to think that I was searching for a contact lens that was never actually lost " A guest (Name Known)
E-MAIL FOR UNCOUTH & DIPPY


Many Different Hats

Other Spoof Spanner Infiltrators

 Spoof Employee
The new salesman is joining you for dinner. Will he be up to do the job in hand? We think not.

 Off-Key Pianist
In pre-dinner and/or during dinner, guests will note that this musician is not up to scratch, as they cringe at every bum note.

 Cleaning Lady
She's had a busy day, and wants to get home. But she has to vacuum the banqueting room first.

 Heavy Handed Pickpocket
He's quick, he's nimble, but he's very heavy handed. Removes guests' watches, vests and even socks. Pre-dinner only.

 Drunken Waiter
Appears to get more and more sloshed as the dinner progresses. Taking sneaky swigs from various discreetly hidden wine bottles.

The Unofficial Photographer
Yes, your guests will do anything he asks (within reason). Real photographs if required. Great for arriving guests. Comes with backdrop and a selection of props.

Barry & Phil's Boogie Shoes Mobile Disco
Some of the equipment this pair have is over 30 years old. Terrible 'Johnny Light bulb' light show, LPs and 45s only. Scratchy!!

The Vicar of Pink Green
He has a small parish somewhere in Worcestershire, will say grace and is a great listener.

The "Got Stuck In Traffic"
Balloon Company
As guests are seated for dinner, the "Got Stuck In Traffic" Balloon Company team arrives to decorate tables. Fun with helium and quite awful table displays guaranteed.

Corporate Kite Flying
Treat a small party of clients to an afternoon of kite flying. Introduction, tuition and high flying fun. Very enjoyable on windy days.

Wonky Coach Tours
Transferring guests from A to B will never be the same again. Passengers are subjected to a disorganised timetable, a boring courier announcing irrelevant information along the route. Stopping for hitch-hikers and unusual natural breaks. Real coaches and drivers.

ArtEx '99
A spoof art exhibition, featuring the life works of eccentric artist Isaac Foozling, which includes:-
"
Pea on Decorating Table" and "Snowball in Fridge", plus many more. You invite the guests, and supply wine and food, and we will get them seriously discussing his works of art ..... or is it all just a pile of shite??

Many Different Hats

Please call our office for more details about any of the above, on 01905 353551
or click below to E-mail us.

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