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The act begins subtly, with the waiters collecting glasses, emptying ashtrays, etc. whilst our waitress serves spoof canapes of slices of carrot, banana, a jelly baby and a hula hoop on a stick. (Believe it or not, guests quite happily nibble away, oblivious to what they are actually eating). The object at this point is to arouse a few guests' suspicions, but not enough for our cover to be blown. If requested, the wine waiter will call guests through for ........ Dinner |
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As guests enter the dining
room, our background tape is quietly playing easy listening sounds
and cocktail jazz. The Spanner team will help
show guests to their seats. This familiarises us with the guests
and any requests, such as |
| The starter is then served by the genuine venue staff and, whilst it is being eaten, we remain in the room either stood against the wall looking bored or wandering around checking on people's progress and making the odd comment. |
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Our strange behaviour becomes more noticeable, for example, our waitress will start searching on the floor for her supposedly missing contact lens. (At one venue 20 guests got on their hands and knees, each scouring a section of carpet and, at another, one kind gentleman fetched a torch from his car.) |
| At the end of starter the more astute guests will have begun to realise that all is not as it seems. The team becomes more obvious with, amongst other things, plates stacked in an unusual way, knives and forks slipped into pockets, unusual wine offered (our own printed labels, e.g. Le Crappeaux Rouge or White Shite). |
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Enter our friendly maintenance man complete with toolbox and stepladders. It is at this point that the gags are obvious and highly visible, leaving guests in no doubt that they have been set up. Guests begin to point fingers at the organisers, discuss what they have witnessed, and start looking out for what's going to happen next. We are then able to interact with guests and the Spanner performance is now in full flow. |
| Throughout main course guests are entertained by a non-stop stream of one-liners, ridiculous props, impromptu head massages, fashion tips, DIY, whilst the drunken waiter tries his hand at cartooning guests, the maintenance man seizes the opportunity to astound each table with crap magic tricks and our unusual antics continue. Also, the jazz and easy listening is interspersed with such crowd pleasers as The Teddy Bears Picnic, Two Little Boys and a repeated announcement for a taxi for Dave. |
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The fun continues, reaching a climax with our workman drilling under a table, the infamous Sweet Trolley being wheeled out to collect used plates, offering a novel way to dispose of any leftovers and the wine waiter keeling over and being carried out. |
| We insist that an announcement is made at the end of coffee, either by us or ideally the organiser, to exonerate the venue and their staff from the unusual service, followed by a few words from us and the sing-a-long classic 'Delilah' is then performed in our inimitable fashion. |
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Helpful Information In our experience, the fewer guests that know we are infiltrating their function, the better. The act can be tailored to suit the occasion, personalities and number of guests. At no time is food interfered with and, although the wine waiter can be seen swigging from a bottle, it is his own and is not offered to guests. If requested, specific guests can be targeted, using inside information supplied by the organisers. Spanner in the Works have entertained groups of all sizes, from one table of 10 to anything up to 1,000, at both corporate events and private parties. |
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