From pre-dinner drinks, through to coffee, your unsuspecting guests will witness a whole host of amusing and unusual capers.

Watch with delight as unlikely canapés are nibbled, guests search in vain for the waitress's lost contact lens, and whilst a waiter takes a sneaky swig from a hidden bottle of wine, can that maintenance man really be changing a light bulb over table 2?

As the atmosphere builds, with confidence, the guests begin to interact with the spoof Spanner staff. Sudddenly the maintenance man is under a table, a bandaged waiter is serenading guests with his guitar and the wine waiter finally collapses, even the most unobservant are left in no doubt that they have been well and truly Spannered!

An announcement is made at the end of the performance exposing the true identity of the bogus staff.

Taking their bows with instruments galore, the musical finale, which sees the whole room singing and swaying along to the classic 'Delilah' is a handclapping, footstomping cherry on an already splendid cake.

HOW SPANNER WORKS

The act begins subtly, with the waiters collecting glasses, emptying ashtrays, etc. whilst our waitress serves spoof canapés of slices of carrot, banana, a jelly baby and a hula hoop on a stick. (Believe it or not, guests quite happily nibble away, oblivious to what they are actually eating).

The object at this point is to arouse a few guests' suspicions, but not enough for our cover to be blown. If requested, the wine waiter will call guests through for Dinner. As guests enter the dining room, if required, our wonky background CD is quietly playing easy listening sounds and cocktail jazz. At this point in the proceedings, for many guests, nothing will yet seem amiss.

The Spanner team will help show guests to their seats. This familiarises us with the guests and any requests, such as "Can I have a glass of water" are played straight. We then help place serviettes on laps, pour wine and serve bread rolls, all in a subtly questionable manner. The starter is then served by the genuine venue staff and, whilst it is being eaten, we remain in the room either stood against the wall looking bored or wandering around checking on people's progress and making the odd comment.

Our strange behaviour becomes more noticeable, for example, our waitress will start searching on the floor for her supposedly missing contact lens; generally guests join in the hunt.

At the end of starter the more astute guests will have begun to realise that all is not as it seems. The team becomes more obvious with, amongst other things, plates stacked in an unusual way, knives and forks slipped into pockets, unusual wine offered.

Enter our maintenance man complete with toolbox and stepladders. It is at this point that the gags become a little more obvious, leaving guests in no doubt that they have been set up. Guests begin to point fingers at the organisers, discuss what they have witnessed, and start watching out for what may happen next. We are then able to interact with guests and the Spanner performance is now in full flow.

Throughout main course guests are entertained by a non-stop stream of one-liners, ridiculous props, impromptu head massages, fashion tips, DIY, whilst the drunken waiter tries his hand at cartooning the guests, the maintenance man seizes the opportunity to astound each table with rubbish magic tricks and another waiter serenades the diners with his acoustic guitar.

We insist that an announcement is made at the end of coffee to exonerate the venue and their staff from the unusual service, followed by a few words from us, and where possible, the sing-a-long classic 'Delilah' is then performed in our inimitable fashion.

SPANNER COMBINATIONS

Apart from the classic four person routine, the Spanner comedy waiters are available in various combinations to suit the size of audience and budget. We can supply up to ten comedy waiters/performers if required. Below are a selection of our most popular.

SPANNER PROFILES

THE CLUMSY WAITER

Clattering around the dining room, adjusting his bandage, this waiter is possibly the most unsavoury character ever to enter the catering profession. Unrefined, slouching, constantly moaning about his pay and working conditions, he really does have an attitude problem. He can often be seen chewing gum and when he's not bumping into things, will seize the opportunity to serenade guests with his acoustic guitar.

THE DIPPY WAITRESS

Former hairstylist and Miss Bridgend 1981, this flame haired Welsh beauty queen glides from table to table, giving style advice to the girls and the odd executive massage for the gents. She loves a good gossip and will often spread rumours amongst the guests. She is a Capricorn and completely off her chump!

THE DRUNKEN WAITER

With a true appreciation for the grape, the drunken waiter has several bottles hidden around the dining room, which he can be seen visiting frequently. Once sozzled he staggers from table to table boring people with a well oiled tale of his amazing life as a waiter. As an aspiring caricaturist he will later offer guests the chance to pose for hilarious caricatures that are a little too close for comfort.

THE USELESS WORKMAN

A jobsworth and pest who's electric drill and hammering will add mayhem to your occasion. Unpredictably bounding around armed with ladders and a variety of tools. This maintenance man will often take advantage of a vacant chair, whipping out his flask and a few of his grandad's old magic props, he will amaze guests with some rubbish tricks before grabbing himself a quick tea break.

KIND WORDS OF THANKS

"I've been waiting for years to use Spanner and I can honestly say that you were well worth the wait!"
Bridget Charles Marketing Manager, UK&I Hewlett-Packard

"Every stunt went really well and the finish with the "choir" singing Bohemian Rhapsody was brilliant!!"
Paul Kendrick - Organiser

"I can honestly say that Spanner in the Works were the funniest thing I have seen for a very long time."
Lorraine Robson - Event Co-ordinator