THAT'S RIGHT - THERE'S MORE SPANNER!

Here we have featured the more popular of our acts with photographs and a brief description of how they work.

Some of the listings below our featured acts are drawing board ideas that have either been discussed with clients and for various reasons, not used or are waiting for the right client/event for them to be launched to even more unsuspecting audiences.

Should you wish to book any of the featured acts or discuss how some of our listed ideas could work for your next event, please contact Spanner straight away?

We hope you find something to whet your appetite.

Enjoy.

SPANNER BUSKERS - DURING DINNER

Clients who have witnessed the surprise element and mayhem caused by our Comedy waiter routine and still want more, kept asking for the singing bit round the tables. So here it is.

The Spanner Buskers visit tables during dinner and along with your guests have a good old rollicking sing song.

Join your colleagues and friends in belting out your favourite songs. Daydream Believer, Wonderwall, Dancing Queen, Angels, American Pie, Hey Jude, Delilah, Wild thing and not forgetting the King himself.

"Hang on, is that Malcolm from finance doing Elvis" Yes and there's Carol from HR blowing on a trombone. Moments that will stay with your guests forever.

There are very few audiences that can fail to enjoy a visit to their table from the Spanner buskers. A prize to the best table sees the performances really hot up.

Armed with tambourines, shakers, wigs, props and the rousing finale, a group sing-a-long to Queen's, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Spanner Buskers are guaranteed unforgettable fun.

If your guests are used to sitting quietly, discussing business then retiring with 'The Economist' they really need a visit from the Buskers.

Go on, we dare you.

ROLF KILLER - THE SHORT SIGHTED CARICATURIST

Rolf Killer's eyesight has deteriorated massively recently with an aggressive cataract in one eye and myopia in the other. He also suffers from a condition which he calls sketchers elbow. However he soldiers on and his work is like his eyesight, reassuringly poor. His victims, on the other hand find his work hilarious.

Unable to finish evening art classes due to a recurring back problem, he still bends to draw and chooses each subject with great care. As guests watch him work on a friend or colleague, squeals of laughter can be heard from behind his drawing pad, unfortunately not by Mr Killer though, he still has a glue ear from childhood.

We are sure that Mr Killer's work proudly hangs in the homes and on office walls of nearly all of his victims. The rest are left behind by those who do not appreciate that despite all his ailments, here is a sensitive artist who simply won't go to the doctors.

Works well with Magic.

COUNT MAGICULA - RUBBISH TABLE MAGICIAN

Hilarious take on close up magic, The cloaked Magicula floats from table to table with his trusty magic trolley in tow.

His routine, with ridiculous musical accompaniment and a well thumbed 70's Daniels magic book, will leave your guests reeling with laughter.

From his Transylvanian ring manoeuvre to a jaw dropping sword swallow, the count is a master magician hovering near the bottom of his profession. He dislikes garlic dishes, crucifixes and will all of a sudden, in a flash, disappear before dawn breaks.

Works well with Balloons and Caricaturist.

THE SPANNER GAMESHOW & TRIVIA QUIZ

The Spanner Gameshow and Trivia Quiz is a lively non-stop roller coaster ride through some ingenious and very silly gameshow formats.

Based on television classics and party games such as Play your Cards Right, Bullseye, Runaround and the hilarious children's classics Pass The Parcel and Musical Chairs.

Our Compere, Ted Doogan, and his lovely assistant and dolly dealer Trudy get the crowd going before dinner with a big showbiz welcome. The choosing of team captains is then performed in an unusual and novel way.

During dinner, teams complete the really big trivia quiz which can include a standard format in addition to questions tailored to your product or business.

Between the main course and dessert, a pop quiz in the style of the Radio One classic 'Bits and Pieces' can be played, in which teams have to identify the artist and the song title to 20 pieces of music.

The fun continues after dinner with teams competing against each other with a lively round of 'Play Your Cards Right' followed by the Mike Reid classic 'r-r-r-runaround'. Then teams get creative with the hilarious sticky-backed plastic Blue Peter Challenge and finally unleashing their energies with the manic musical chairs finale which is a piece of holiday camp magic!

Teams can play for fun or we can award the winning team members with prizes. (Client to supply.)

The Spanner Gameshow is very lively and not for the fainthearted!

AUTOGRAPH HUNTERS

Give your guests the complete celebrity treatment with our ever enthusiastic Autograph Hunters.

They eagerly greet your guests on arrival armed with pens, scraps of paper and autograph books looking for yet another signature to add to their vast pointless collection of celebrity and non celebrity names.

Boring people with tales of meeting The Cheeky Girls mother, that bloke from Eastenders, no The Bill, Richard but not Judy because she was not feeling at all well, stuttering Pete from Big Brother, Jan Leeming, the Aston Villa manager, Bruno Brookes, Andrew Ridgley and even some Channel 5 presenters.

On occasion, one of our pests shouting "Me, Me!" will break from the main pack waving a Polaroid camera for an odd photo with your alarmed guests.

Some of our Autograph Hunters are also Trainspotters and are always up for a train theme, especially the beauty of steam.

Available as a two or a multi-pack option.

THE CLEANERS

Val, Barb and Derek are livid. They should have been home hours ago, but the conference ran over by 3 hours and if they don't do it now, it will never get done.

Great for pre or during dinner service our clumsy comedy cleaners will clatter around, interact with your guests and cause absolute mayhem.

Vacuuming under tables, cleaning windows, shoes, cutlery, glasses, even the odd guest gets the once over.

Armed with vacuum cleaners, dusters, brooms, buckets, mops, polish and bin liners, their passion for cleaning is a joy to witness, only interrupted by the occasional tea break and a moan about their pay and working conditions.

As Derek often tells his wife after they have been paid 'we're cleaning up love, cleaning up'.

Available as a two or three person routine.

THE PROTESTERS

A protest outside a venue is always guaranteed to attract attention.

'What do we want? Don't know, when do we want it? Not sure!!'

On closer inspection though, we find their rants are a little spurious. 'Give peas a chance' is the song, down with loud music reads the placard.

'We want tea!!' Meat is an anagram of team and mate and tame and etam claim the leaflets. A petition is thrust under your nose to help save The Wales.

You could even use your own cause for our protesters to support, but we warn you, although they look the part, there approach is a bit rubbish.

With notice, up to 10 protesters are available.

Works well with paparazzi.

Clients: Product promotion for Virgin Atlantic at various London train stations, Nintendo launch party, Stop Time for Swatch.

HEALTH AND SAFETY OFFICERS GONE MAD

"Hello my name is Ken Driffold and this is my colleague Morris Corfield and I'm afraid we have a few potential health risks here we would not only like to point out, but we need to discuss them with you". Imagine you are enjoying yourself at a social gathering and you hear these spine chilling words. Oh yes ladies and gentlemen Ken and Morris mean business and they have the power to shut you up and down.

It was in fact Ken who announced to the world that the Christmas pudding was a potential flaming ball of death. The sixpence, if swallowed is a real choking hazard.

Clipboard, rule book, tape measure, sound level meter, professional torch, safety leaflets and the Handy Hazzard Handbook are just some of the pieces of specialist equipment carried by these sad lonely jobsworths.

It's Lovely to watch your guests interacting with these incredulous creatures. Apart from distances between tables and amount of candles to cubic air space they will give advice and leaflets on smoking, drinking, fire exits and extinguishers and explain how Morris successfully had a 600 year old pancake race on a cobbled street in Oxford cancelled.

Works well in pre and into dinner.

Two Jobsworths supplied.

BUZZ ZING - THE BAFFLING BALLOON MODELLER

Who needs a balloon poodle, a sausage dog, a phallic hat? No one says Buzz. What people want is balloon fruit and veg.

After years entertaining old people, Buzz is worryingly available for bookings and appears to have put the zing back into balloon modelling. An apple, a potato, the orange, marrow, a pea, some plums even the exotic kumquat are effortlessly displayed before your baffled guest's eyes.

The climactic mouth-watering finale and the 'any requests' part of the show is very fruity indeed.

Ideal for fruit and vegetable themed evenings and let's not forget the big food exhibitions they have.

Works well with Magic and Caricatures.

STILL ON THE SPANNER DRAWING BOARD

Are You The Client that can make these exciting Spanner ideas a reality?

• Cardboard Robots.
• Close up Table Coughing.
• Food Fight.
• A Treasure Hunt in the Indian Ocean.
• A days Fishing with Jack Charlton and his dog Jack Charlton.
• The Naked Dinner In The Dark.
• Build Go-Karts and race them down a big hill.
• Junk Weaponry.
• Spoof Fashion Show.
• Fake modern art exhibition in a gallery with champagne and some really edgy modern art to discuss.
• Build a mechanical contraption that actually works, i.e. the egg cracker, the early wake up call, an automatic hair brusher. A fog whistle, a sock stretcher.